For years, Absolut vodka has come up with really clever, eyecatching print ads to promote their brand. So it comes as no surprise that they're proving equally clever when it comes to their online presence, complete with Facebook page, aimed squarely at those crucial just-legal drinkers. Their new "Recognize the Moment" campaign is unbelievably clever, in fact: while ostensibly promoting moderate drinking, it is actually a survival manual for a night of heavy drinking, the likes of which one can find in each month's issue of Maxim or Cosmopolitan. The campaign conflates actual moderation, which is defined by the Department of Health and Human Services as not more than one or two drinks a day, with "getting home safely," that is, not drunk driving.

The Absolut website has lots of "tips and tools" for "recognizing the moment" to say no, and a video library of clips of "real people" sharing their own tips for "moderation," the overwhelming majority of which involve a designated driver or taxi home. My personal favorite was the woman who always brings a pregnant friend along, therefore guaranteeing herself a sober driver. Heaven knows there's nothing more entertaining for a pregnant lady than to watch her friends get incoherent and slobbery and then drive them all home. I suppose it's good practice for motherhood. Other "tips" include drinking lots of water, drinking on a full stomach, only paying in cash, and making sure there's someone responsible with you who will look after you. In other words, all the "tips" are aimed at surviving a night of heavy drinking.

I'm not knocking the fact that Absolut has put out an anti-drunk-driving message. Such messages are important and do save lives. But they should be honest about what their message is. What it is not is a message to drink in moderation. Because, let's face it, the liquor industry depends on us not drinking in moderation. A true moderation message would look something like this: "Absolut recommends you enjoy a single martini or cosmo before dinner. Have a single glass of wine with dinner. If it's a very special occasion, have an after-dinner drink. Then have a nice cup of coffee or peppermint tea and call it a night."

So how to promote your brand aggressively while appearing to be responsible? Disguise hard drinking as moderation, mix your messages, promote the in-to-the-wee-hours binge as the norm, and voila, there you have it.

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